Tips for successful marriage
1. Love
2. Determination
3. Submission
4. Openness
6. Good food
7. Good sex
8. Prayer
"Love"
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and whosoever believe in him will not perished but have everlasting life. "John 3:16".
Love plays a major role in marriage relationship. No marriage can ever succeed without true love. When true love is gone out or is no longer in place in a marriage, the marriage is bound to crumble and fail at any time.
Description of love:
Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty, selfish or rude.Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do wrong. It is never glad about injustice,but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter the cost.
You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him and always stand your ground in defending him.
Love never comes to an end but love goes on forever.
Love is a small word for complex motion.It has no single explanation because love is made up of many things. It cannot be measured.It cannot be treasured because love is a feeling.
Full meaning of L-O-V-E
L - Learn to give unconditionally
O - Ordinary things of Life
V - Very patient
E - Expecting joy in all you do because love is the way to happiness.
I want to encourage every couple to have the description of love and display it where the whole family can see it everyday. They should make it the “house custom” to honour one another.Let it apply to visitors too (as much as possible). Love is rooted in God’s character. Ask him to teach you to love as He loves. And God will be willing and ready to do so for you. Love everything around. Love one another as Jesus Christ loves you.
"Determination"
Determination is the driving force that overcomes obstacle on the way to ones breakthrough. If you are determined in your heart right from the commencement of the relationship or marriage to make it work, it will definitely work for you, for as a man think in his heart, so is he. If your thought is really positive to the success of your marriage, no matter the obstacle or the works of the enemy on the way, your marriage will be victorious at last.
We should learn to speak positively about our marriage, children and family, because there is nothing as good as positive confession to ones life even when things seem contrary. The dreams and prayers of everyone in life is to see the good they desire in their marriage coming to pass. This positive confessions should be on a daily basis.
Brothers and sisters, if your marriage must succeed, it solely depends on you even after God has successfully connected you to his divine will for your life.
"Submission"
This is another very important point that sustains a marriage. Submission is a major key to winning your husband’s heart. A woman, who is submissive to her husband, will always have whatever she desires if she knows how to play her game very well. The only way I am guaranteed of my husband’s love, care and support at all time, is through submission. In fact, I get whatever I desire from him through this simple key.
Submission does not mean you are a fool or being taken for granted as some women often say or think, but it is simply obeying God’s commandment by applying the right principle to having a successful marriage.
When you submit to your husband, you are indirectly telling him the best thing to do at the right time.
Since, your husband is the HEAD as the word of God says and you are the BODY. It is the head that tells the body where to turn to. That means the head can only move itself with the assistance of the body. So when you are submissive, it helps your marriage to be peaceful and successful.
"Openness"
In the book of Genesis: 2:25 “they were both naked and they were not ashamed”. This refers to the depth of openness between the husband and the wife.
Openness draws a couple together. It makes them share with one another any issue; even the difficult ones are discussed together without fear. I am a living example of this key; it has helped me to overcome shyness, timidity and fear. I am very free with my husband to the point that there is nothing I cannot discuss with him. Whenever we make love, I do let him know if I enjoyed it or not. If I enjoyed it, I would tell him “you are wonderful and how about you dear”, if not, I will also tell him “Dear I did not enjoy it”, and he will reply by saying, “I will make it up to you”. I know of many couples out there, who cannot talk about issues concerning love making due to fear of what their spouses may think of them.
Some women cannot initiate love making even when the urge is there. They rather wait for the husband to initiate it. They do not want to be labeled “the spoilt woman”. If you can open up your body for him during love making,while can't you express your feelings to him.Some women prefer to make love only at night with the light off so that their spouse will not see their body very well;he is your husband. Be free to tell him whatever bothers you rather than take it out to friends who will not be of help to you but rather discourage you with wrong counsels.
"Good food"
This point is responsible for many broken homes out there. Most of our women do not know how to prepare good meals and they do not want to learn either. I want to encourage our women to go the extra mile on learning how to prepare good delicacies for their husband in order to discourage them from visiting different restaurants on a daily basis.
Some husbands do not eat certain food at home just for the fact that their wives do not know how to prepare the meal very well. Some do not even eat at home again because the wife in question is not ready to accept her shortcomings or better still has refused to improve upon her cooking. Let us do whatever we can as wives to win back the hearts of our husbands by improving on our cooking. We should humble ourselves to learn from someone who can do the meal well or better still go for a certificate course in any of the catering schools around us.
"Good Sex"
Two things draw a husband close to the wife, namely, good food and good sex. When a wife is able to perform very well in this areas, she has automatically won the heart of her husband. There is nothing wrong in attending seminars, counseling sessions or even reading books that will enhance or build their sex lives. The attitude of complaining about poor sex life may be due to fatigue as a result of the nature of their jobs or the businesses they do.
Firstly, women should learn to do a lot of exercises that relax or develop their vaginal muscle before engaging in sex. Exercises generally will enrich and prepare them adequately for a good and satisfying sex and this will enable them to satisfy their husbands properly during sexual act, this will also motivate the husbands to always want to come back for more whenever the need arises. Secondly, women should learn different positioning of lovemaking, they shouldn’t be tied to one particular position, the woman on her back, why the man on top of her. Different positioning enriches and renews your love making always. You can also exploit new ideas on how to satisfy your husband sexually in order to keep him away from the mistress outside.
"Prayer"
Prayer is very essential in marriage. It is the pillar that uphold marriage. It is the armour of God that can stand against the wiles of the devil.
1Thess: 5:17 “pray without season”, this is because the enemy does not want anything good to come out of your marriage. And you should not give him the opportunity to invade your home. Prayer helps you to root out every foundation that God did not lay. You can use prayer also to destroy all gadgets of Lucifer mounted from the covens (the meetings of witches) against the success of your marriage. Prayer is used in building and planting all the good things you desire in your marriage through prophetic proclamations as stated in Jeremiah: 1:10
TIPS FOR THE MONTH
1. Pray for your family everyday
2. Love your family always
3. Men; demonstrate your love for your family by cooking for them at least one of the days in the week. It is not a commandment but just to show little fun in your home.
4. Husband/Wife; make your family your first priority in whatever you are doing.
5. Husband/Wife; always have a kiss before leaving the house in the morning and also encourage a welcome kiss whenever you come back home.
6. Appreciate one another rather than complaining about the negative aspect of one another
TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
1. Money management
2. Caring
3. Do Not Engage In Distant Job/Business
4. Learn to say the word “Thank You”
5. Learn to say the word “Sorry”
1) MONEY MANAGEMENT:
Money plays a major role in the success of marriage relationships if it is well handled. Money has been one of the major causes of disagreement and crisis in many homes today because the people involved lack the knowledge on how to handle it properly.
Money management is a very important factor in marriage, which can either make or mar a marriage relationship.
Couples to be, should discuss money matters during the courtship period. They should not wait till when the marriage is fully conducted. They should be able to discuss how money will be handled in the home when they are married.
Questions like who will be responsible for the bills, house rent, school fees, clothing, food stuff etc. should be answered. Also if there is need for joint account, individual saving account and investments, all these should be properly discussed and agreed upon before the marriage, with that in place, there will be no room for problems or disagreements on these when they are finally married.
2) BE A CARING WIFE/HUSBAND
Every man/woman needs a spouse that is caring and supportive spiritually, emotionally and financially.
Spiritually, husband/wife needs a spouse he or she will confide in whenever there are spiritual matters like prayers, fasting and spiritual growth to handle in order to overcome the difficulties or other challenges of life.
There are times when there are emotional problems that will deprive them sleep at nights. If the spouse is sensitive enough to such emotional needs, he or she will be able to handle the issues without much ado.
There will be times when money might not be available to settle some bills. The couple should be sensitive, supportive and understanding at such periods to work out a solution to the problem.
Children also desire parents that are very caring and loving too. Whenever this is absent in a home, there is bound to be problem and alternative.
Husband and wife should demonstrate the attitude of caring for one another. They can ask God for help on how to care for one another. Then, they can transfer this good habit it to their children so; the home will be heaven here on earth.
3) DO NOT ENGAGE IN DISTAND JOB/BUSINESS
Spouses who encourage or love distant jobs/businesses are indirectly inviting trouble into their marriages.
When you work in Lagos State as a wife and your husband works in Abuja, the right thing to do as a wife is try to relocate to your husband’s station. Some women would not want to do this because of the love they have for their jobs, professions or the money to the detriment of their marriages. In fact, some women value their jobs more than their marriages.
Whenever the need arises for the transfer of a spouse, the couple should be able to sit down and discuss whether it is necessary for the family to move to the new location or station.
I will also encourage couples, especially the wife, not to engage in businesses that often takes her away from the home for months because by so doing her husband and children will be left to strangers or housemaids, and this is not supposed to be.
There are times when couples desire one another, especially when the weather is cold, if one spouse is not present at that moment, the partner might be tempted to look elsewhere for succor that might be detrimental to the family at the end of the day.
Parents are also expected to be available whenever they are needed by their children. A lot of the child abuse cases we hear of every day are being caused by the parents because they were not present to attend to the needs and challenges their children.
4) LEARN TO SAY THE WORD "THANK YOU"
Couples, who appreciate one another, will always show gratitude for the good things they get from the relationship.
Some people find it difficult to say “Thank You” for whatever they receive. Learn to use these words of appreciation always.
5) LEAR TO SAY THE WORD "SORRY"
Some people find it difficult to say “I am sorry” even when it is obvious that they are wrong. The reason somebody who is at fault refuses to apologies is usually due to pride or arrogance. Pride can destroy healthy relationship if something is not done about it on time.
Let us learn to say “sorry” whenever you are at fault. It is a small word, but it can save life time damage. When you wrong your spouse, tell him or her “I am very sorry,” you will be surprised at his or her reaction. Instead of anger or offence, you are likely to see a smile from his or her face.
THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH:
1) Assure your spouse of your love for him/her on a daily basis
2) Tell your spouse once in a while that he or she is the most important thing that has happened to you since you were born
3) Assure your spouse of your readiness to stand by him/her always.
4) Woman, always work for peace and harmony to reign in your home
5) Be a good listener even when you are not interested in what he/she is saying
6) Say or write a short poem for your spouse
7) Remember your family everyday in prayers
10 QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWER BY PARENTS
* (Answer Yes or No)
1. Do you always leave the house every morning before your child wakes up or after?
2. Do you know your child so well?
3. Are you your child’s best friend?
4. Can your child confide in you?
5. Do you always have a heart-to-heart talk with your child or children?
6. Do you cook for your family at least once in a week?
7. Do you love your family at all?
8. Does your child know you as the active parent or the ghost parent?
9. Do you take your job more seriously than your family?
10. Do you spend time with your family?
If your “Yes” is less than seven (7), it means you need to rearrange your programmes as parent in order to have a healthy home.
Remain blessed.
SINGLES CORNER
"TIPS FOR SINGLES"
As singles, you are special and unique to God. Therefore you are expected to be happy in your single days because very soon, you will be transformed to the next level, which is the marriage stage. Try to utilize your singlehood for the service of God so that when you finally move to the next stage, you will be fulfilled and be very happy with yourself.
THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH
1. You are unique and special from every other creature on earth and that is why you should be proud of yourself.
2. Take proper care of yourself. Be neat and always wear a friendly look.
3. Believe and have confidence in yourself.
4. Have faith in God that regardless of your present situation, you will definitely by the grace of God be connected to your ordained partner in marriage.
5. Always be happy with yourself and learn to say “thank you God” in any position you find yourself now, so that God can move you forward to the next level.
6. Avoid pretence, be original always.
7. Work on yourself if there is need for that.
8. Do not think God has forgotten you because God can never forget his own child.
9. Have the same mind set of the three Hebrew children that told king Nebuchadnezzar that they will never bow to his gods because they knew their God will deliver them, but even if he refuses to deliver them they will still not bow. Do not compromise your faith.
10. Do not be in haste as a woman to cheapen yourself for a man just because your connection has not taken place now.
11. Be focus on whatsoever your hand finds to do and do it with all your heart.
12. Remind God everyday about your heart desire and tell him why he needs to do it for you.
THINGS TO AVOID WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP
* Do not feel too superior to the other person:
Women especially are to watch out for this flaw because no man wants to be in a relationship where the woman always claims to know it all. Even if you are at an advantage over your man financially, spiritually, emotionally, academically etc., you are expected to be humble and not to display it. Be matured in your dealings with your man.
The man also expected to treat the woman as his pet. The Bible refers to her as the weaker vessel. We should always ask for wisdom from God concerning our relationships even before it graduate into marriage. God is interested in our relationships, because He initiated marriage in the first instance in the Garden of Eden, so He will be willing to do all He can to make a relationship(s) successful
Corrections should be done in love and without embarrassment of any kind to the other person. If there are things your man/woman is not good at, if it something you can correct, be glad to do it in love. If you face difficulties, contact somebody whom you are sure can be of help, preferably your pastor or counselor. Let us learn to apply wisdom in any thing we do so that we can enjoy and have a better relationships which will eventually graduate to a happy marriage life there after.
* Stinginess
This flaw should not be found among believers because God is a giver and we are expected to take after Him. Stinginess is a spirit that believes only in itself and not other person. It can easily terminate a healthy relationship if it is not noticed and corrected on time. A man who is stingy, will find it difficult to establish a solid relationship because no woman will be ready to put up with him. The woman will worry that she could be deprived in the marriage. I am not saying that the women should focus on money alone but there is need for little gifts to spice up the relationship.
Some men often say they do not like giving gifts to their women because they will not be able to know or tell whether they are truly in love with them or just there for their money. They prefer waiting after the marriage is conducted before they get generous.
For the women, they are expert at giving of gifts to their spouses to be. If a woman really loves a man, she will do anything in her power for him just to make him happy.
I will like to encourage every one of us, be it man or woman to give gifts, it is one of the keys used in building a solid relationship. If you really love someone, you will shower him or her with gifts. It will even be a pleasure for you to do so.
* Character defects
Character is defined by the “Oxford Dictionary” as the qualities that make a person or thing what he, she or it is. When a relationship commenced, the key you need to sustain it, is good character. A woman that lacks good character will be at the mercy of God in her relationship. A woman that is beautiful only outwardly without the inner beauty will automatically have problems with her character. Beauty is what draws a man to a woman but it is character that sustains the relationship. It is expected of a woman to be beautifully inside and outside.
Thought for the month:
1. Confess positive things about yourself
2. Take a close look at yourself in the mirror and see how beautiful/ handsome you are
3. Improve on yourself on a daily basis
4. Love yourself
5. Do not give up on yourself
6. Do not be too selective in your choice of a partner
7. Do not look down on anyone
8. Always ask God for His will concerning any issue of your life.
9. Do not be too much in haste to accepting marriage offer
10. Always pray
12. Remind God everyday about your heart’s desires and tell Him why He needs fix them for you.
